Slade, from Fabulous Monsters, by Diana Burbano

SLADE. (they/them) I’ve read a ton of books describing the whole Punk scene, ya know? But, the ones writing the history are the poser assholes who made it out alive. And it’s like, a mandate, to slagpeople off. ‘specially women like Patti and Debbie. Jesus, when don’t you read that Debbie “got fat?” Everyone “got fat,” man. We had no money to buy food, what money we had we spent on drugs, and one show burnt about a million calories. Start acting like a norm, and the weight piles on pretty fast. I recently saw a dude I knew walking outside what used to be Ed’s in DTLA. He lived in a loft, but not one of those yuppified Toy District lofts, he lived in a flophouse on the edge of Chinatown. The place was CRAMMED with junk. Clothes in piles to the ceiling. Cat shit everywhere. He had 3 gold records covered in dust and God knows what. He spends most of his time in bed playing Call of Duty. Fat. We’re all fat and poor now, man. We signed away every right we had. This shit just fizzles out. You’re young, you play your guts out. You spark, someone wants to record you! You tour, you cut an album. Path diverges: You burn out and go back to school. Or you die of an overdose. Or you tour some more. Path diverges. Touring sucks so you quit. You kill yourself. Or you cut another album. No one buys it. You quit and go do something else. Or you kill yourself. Ad infinitum. It’s either death or normality. If you are the one-half of the one percent who keeps going it’s ‘cause you’re fucking crazy.

Context: Slade (formerly Sally Rodriguez) is a hard living, seen it all punk rocker from the 70’s, alive, sober and cynical as hell. In this monologue, Slade is speaking to a young girl who is in love with them. This is close to the end of the play.

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